My Depression Story (part 1)
I wanted to share with you my story and let you know all you girls and guys out there are Queens and Kings, and that however much days can be sad and hard, you all deserve to live a happy life and give yourself multiple chances to see a better future. You're all beautiful and deserve the best.
It's 2017 and i'm 21 years old. Shockingly i've been carrying depression on my back for 10 years, YES, i was a kid when it all started. I believe some people might deny the fact that a child can have depression, so i got to a theory or a possibility, if you want, that when depression starts as a phase it attacks weaker souls and with time it becomes "the real deal" as in a mental disorder.
That is exactly what happened to me. We all had those moments as kids when we felt sad and our day wasn't quite exciting, but for my case, it was kind of different. I learned from my parents that i needed to be a kind and generous person, and that's what i was, but for some reason i was the bullied kid, always left out of the group, always having to deal with humiliating pranks and i'd run back home crying.. Not the happiest childhood.
Middle school, new school, new people, new environment and.. new problems (of course!). Since i didn't have the most exciting childhood i didn't learn how to be social, so once again i was seen as that weird plain girl you don't really want to be friends with. First year, second year, THIRD YEAR, and you guessed it right! It was then that problems got a little bit out of hands.
Our classroom was devided into two rows, one for the guys and one for the girls, and the only really close friend i had wasn't in the same class. I used to sit in the front in the guys row, why? Simply because the girls were always talking non stop, gossiping and being mean to each other, they weren't even my friends and whenever i sat there i couldn't focus on my studies. Silly me thought i'd be fine this way with my studies and forgot that people are really mean and evil creatures who want to watch the world burn.. not to make this post really long so let's just jump to the biggest BOOM in this story.
Well everytime i got home i was lonely, i used to watch anime (still) and try to escape the little mess that is my dark thoughts. By the end of the year we were sitting in the classroom, chilling, and the girls were making bets or whatever.. meh! And this girl let's call her K, she came to me and just said "Hey! Um you're a b***" and smiled and walked away.. i had all eyes on me and i was litteraly speechless, like WHY?!!! i had some few "Oooh!'s" and the same day back at home, those words kept coming back and forth in my head until i eventually started crying hysterically like "why what did i do? What did i ever harm you with to just come and humiliate me in front of the whole class with a smile" it hit me hard because in addition to that i was a loner and the very next day i had confessions from others telling me they thought the samd thing about me for the simple reason that i didn't stick around with girls..
NB: Didn't want to make the post way too long so i divided it into parts.
Lovely day Cutie Pies ♡
It's 2017 and i'm 21 years old. Shockingly i've been carrying depression on my back for 10 years, YES, i was a kid when it all started. I believe some people might deny the fact that a child can have depression, so i got to a theory or a possibility, if you want, that when depression starts as a phase it attacks weaker souls and with time it becomes "the real deal" as in a mental disorder.
That is exactly what happened to me. We all had those moments as kids when we felt sad and our day wasn't quite exciting, but for my case, it was kind of different. I learned from my parents that i needed to be a kind and generous person, and that's what i was, but for some reason i was the bullied kid, always left out of the group, always having to deal with humiliating pranks and i'd run back home crying.. Not the happiest childhood.
Middle school, new school, new people, new environment and.. new problems (of course!). Since i didn't have the most exciting childhood i didn't learn how to be social, so once again i was seen as that weird plain girl you don't really want to be friends with. First year, second year, THIRD YEAR, and you guessed it right! It was then that problems got a little bit out of hands.
Our classroom was devided into two rows, one for the guys and one for the girls, and the only really close friend i had wasn't in the same class. I used to sit in the front in the guys row, why? Simply because the girls were always talking non stop, gossiping and being mean to each other, they weren't even my friends and whenever i sat there i couldn't focus on my studies. Silly me thought i'd be fine this way with my studies and forgot that people are really mean and evil creatures who want to watch the world burn.. not to make this post really long so let's just jump to the biggest BOOM in this story.
Well everytime i got home i was lonely, i used to watch anime (still) and try to escape the little mess that is my dark thoughts. By the end of the year we were sitting in the classroom, chilling, and the girls were making bets or whatever.. meh! And this girl let's call her K, she came to me and just said "Hey! Um you're a b***" and smiled and walked away.. i had all eyes on me and i was litteraly speechless, like WHY?!!! i had some few "Oooh!'s" and the same day back at home, those words kept coming back and forth in my head until i eventually started crying hysterically like "why what did i do? What did i ever harm you with to just come and humiliate me in front of the whole class with a smile" it hit me hard because in addition to that i was a loner and the very next day i had confessions from others telling me they thought the samd thing about me for the simple reason that i didn't stick around with girls..
NB: Didn't want to make the post way too long so i divided it into parts.
Lovely day Cutie Pies ♡
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